First Night Frights

After dark ( which means 6pm), the population of small-town-grocery-shopping-men turns into a crowd of potential murderers/rapists/zombies. I do my best to avoid, snatching my cart of bagged groceries from the bag boy with a leery eye. I forgot to get batteries. Now I have to decide if I would rather risk my life with a potential zombie lurking around every aisle of the local walgreen's or if  I am willing to walk back and forth to change the channel. Under the circumstances, I decide that grabbing a pack of AA's from a well lit store is worth the risk.

I was right.

The parking infront of my building is parallel. The day of regret for not learning to parrallel park had finally come. I summoned my superhuman strength to avoid multi trips to car. I double checked the trunk I left open to be sure no one, or no thing, had decided to climb in for the night. As I closed it shut, I realized that, inevitably, there was hooded youth walking toward me. Im pretty sure he was only texting as a way to disarm me. I grabbed the spoils of my quest and ran into a locked apartment.

So now there's one last goal to be reached. The last PHD application. Nothing is more frightening than trying to sell yourself to the highest bidder using 1,000 words or less. Minimize the borderline personality disorder (WHY WONT YOU LOVE ME!) without falling into to the narcissistic (I AM AWESOME!! ARE YOU TOO DUMB TO KNOW THAT?). Throw Paula Adul's "Live to Dance" in the mix and and you have a challenging two hours to write one paragraph. I'm pretty sure I just tried to convince GSU to let me dance for underserved populations to the tune of Pink's "Raise your glass."

The imaginary harms that are visable are far less frightening the ones that are real but exist only in the mind. There's nothing like being alone in a empty apartment to remind you that you are avoiding thinking some things out and no amount of Lifetime television can drown those out.

The scary part comes when everyone says goodnight online and your loved one calls to say he's heading to bed and you find that you are really alone. When that happens, you decide to write a blog at 10:50 at night to amuse yourself (and whoever else feels like  avoiding whatever they actually have to do).

I could be working on thesis before bed, but then, I don't want to give myself nightmares. My only hope is that I fall asleep before I remember that my bed is beside two large windows, that my husband is flying to the other side of the country tommorow, that I have to turn in  the next draft of my thesis on thursday and I kind of "forgot" to work on it over the break, that the feeling of missing somone isn't as strong as being dissapointed in them and that tommorow brings a whole new set of responsabilities and potential failures (also potential injuries).

Also, yesterday when I was pumping gas my heel got caught on the gas pump  and I hit the side of my car face first.

Good night.