Goodbye

I woke up early this morning (early for me that is) wondering if the thunderstorms from last night were real or if I dreamed them, hmm maybe I just heard them on TV.

So last night was my last night staying here. I was going to say it's a bittersweet good-bye but not really. It will be nice to spend EVERY night at home in my own bed. I already know the transition back to "normal" is going to take a little while getting used to. I'm already finding it difficult to accept there is nothing due the next week and if I am just sitting having a quiet moment I get anxiety thinking I should be working on something. Must learn to calm down.

If leaving this apartment isn't bitter-sweet, leaving graduate school is. For the first time since I started school way back in Kindergarten, I am going to be DONE with school. Done. At 25 years old. School is kind of like this never-never land where you just sort of hang on to your young adulthood because you haven't yet begun your "grown-up" job. I reflect on peter pan saying "I want always to be a little boy and have fun."

In a way, I want to always stay in school and have my job be only learning. But, that's not reality. It's time to let go of these days of my youth and embrace the on-rushing adulthood.

I am going to miss some things about graduate school.As hard as it has been, I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I will miss my friends and teaching and learning. I won't miss the deadlines or the inane requirements or the stress (Gaa the stress).

And my blog, I will miss that too. I may revive it should there be a night alone in the future.

For now, my last night in this apartment was anti-climatic. Having the flu lends itself only to the adventures induced by large doses of nyquil. (Those can be fun!). I'd like to say something fun and amazing happened last night but, alas, I fell asleep watching re-runs of home improvement.

Thanks to being sick I never enacted my plan of practicing my Spanish late at night by driving around to all the drive-through Mexican restaurants in town. Anyway, since I left my debit card at home that wouldn't have worked out because then I would have had to order and drive off.  There would have been a rash of order and drive offs alerting the Mexican restaurant community to some new form of criminal. Eventually they would have found me out and I would have been black listed from Mexican food forever.

It's not worth the risk.

So for now, fare well. These nights alone have been a nice, small adventure.


But, "To live will be an awfully big adventure."

L'Chaim!