I haven't stopped writing since then but I made it private temporarily and that short break turned into a few years. At the time, a publisher and editor were talking to me about turning it into a book. They were quite interested and considered my humor and failure to take myself too seriously a refreshing take on yet another millennial trying to tell their life story having lived, as of yet, hardly any life.
After working with an editor and going through several revisions, I quite frankly gave up. He would come back with the same feedback each time he read a new version. He wanted to know more about the world and people around me, things I never bothered to introduce in my writing. But I never could get it quite right because, as much as I love the people and the world around me, the thoughts in this blog were meant to be about me growing as a person, my own development, a tiny space in which I am the leading lady and, only in this blog, am I surrounded by cameos rather than recurring characters. I created it to reflect on my growth as a person, good and bad, and it seemed disingenuous to develop other characters. So, as I stated, I sort of... I gave up.
And honestly, its fine. Because the world doesn't need another reason to call Millennials selfish and I don't need the world to read this blog either. I decided to bring it back because I've missed having an outlet in which I can recall those precious times when my underwear falls off in public or I find myself caught in a case of mistaken identity. I want people to read it and laugh, and maybe learn something too, but in the way they were meant to, by peeking inside my inner self, .
C.S. Lewis says in the most profoundly simplistic way that the highest of highs often come with the lowest of lows. I found this to be true.
While I felt fairly sad that I was never able to publish this book, I have another in the works, one with a legitimate contract and one that is far more important then discussing my time in grad school.
On the day I defended my Phd dissertation and thus, became a PHD, I walked out to my car and found, in the moment of my greatest exaltation, I had received a parking ticket. And that seemed about right. As far as lows go, it could have been worse.
On the day of my graduation party, a day I had been anticipating and planing for years, it snowed and the whole thing was cancelled. And that seemed about right. But I had the party any way a few days later.
On the day I broke my own swim time at the gym and I burst from the water in triumph, I found myself alone in the pool with a guy who was putting on socks in the water. So I had to make an exit. And that seemed about right.
I have come to expect this balance of life, and I no longer fear it.
Four years brings an awful lot of growth in a person and I look forward cataloging at least some of it here.
The Adventures Continue...
